Night falls, lights falling
swiftly populating windows,
streets and eyes, reflecting,
directing an act of fancy coats
and pretty dresses.
It caresses my mind, populating
it with thoughts and dreams,
smiles and funny how it seems
like you’re right here, next to my
world, my cloudy memories and I
close the windows to our room,
perfume and bows, our hands tied
to one another, warm kisses, tears
and I would rather breathe again
the Queen Bee and the airport chatter
than the sweetest smell of hot, dark
coffee that is charming, warming
my body while my heart is looking
still for the hat and scarf to fit,
because you wrote your name on it.
A picture I took of the main square of my hometown by night.
Another Sunday, another song.
This week wasn’t kind to us as a family. Not only was work quite chaotic and exhausting, we also had to face some private issues on top of bad weather and lack of time and energy to deal with anything.
But then, on Thursday something happened that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
My Mom’s partner of almost four years had a stroke due to his frequent dialysis and passed away tonight at 2am after being in a coma for two days. Needless to say, she is not doing well at all and me and my sister spend our weekend at her place, trying to help her through the first week or two and making sure that she eats and sleeps okay. It’s tough.
It’s tough and we are missing an amazing man we wish we could have spent more time with.
I can’t imagine what my Mom must be going through right now. We all have lost someone in one way or another… but not like this.
Today’s song is dedicated to everyone who is suffering the loss of a loved one or from any kind of depression or sadness. I’ve heard it a thousand times and I never get tired of it.
Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin (Acoustic Version):
Devour me, my hungry flame,
take mind and heart, it’s all the same.
Unleash your fury, leave none escape
for what we were, we can’t reshape.
Let heat and fire tear me down,
I will be rising from the ground,
reborn by fire, grown by pain
and raised by love so pure and plain.
My own creation, my own new life
unchained from shadow I will thrive.
Sunset by Archip Iwanowitsch Kuindschi
The clock beats 4am.
He rises from the river of time,
carrying a pitch black sword in his right
and the stone of souls in his left.
A cloak of smiles and euphoric warmth
covers his dark countenance as he
strives towards the chosen one,
through oceans and across mountains,
through cities and battlefields,
walking past everyone and leaving
a cold shiver on skins and hearts,
with a pace slow but unstoppable.
Carefully he pushes the door open,
unseen and uninvited company
on a sunny day, softly placing his
cold and fiery hand onto his soul,
ready to drive the blackened blade
through his heart and his life.
One can delay his arrival but who
is there to stop him, who claims us
when our time has come?
Death and the woodcutter by Jean-Francois Millet
Hello everyone! Last week I have been nominated by Akanksha Singh from My Bubble for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I have never heard of it but it sounds adorable so I thought why not participate. Thanks to her for that! ‘My Bubble’ features poetry, stories and other written content and it’s pretty good so check it out.
So.. without further ado I want to get to the questions, which are pretty interesting!
- What is your ultimate goal as a blogger?
I would say I stay true to the motto: the journey is the reward. I don’t have a certain goal in mind when I’m writing, neither am I trying to earn money with it or get popular. I am writing because it’s healing and it’s an amazing tool to shape thoughts into something substantial, something you can work with and it helps to handle feelings much better than when they just ghost around in my head without any clear boundaries. It’s a form of manifestation. I am also writing because the results turn to art sometimes and art should not be hidden. If it can make people think, smile or feel then it already has a reason to exist and be seen. I hope I can write for as long as I am able to because that is a goal I can live with.
- What kind of blogs do you like to read/follow?
Generally I usually follow pretty much every blog that follows mine, if their content is something I at least like to see here and there. Preferring poetry, prose and visual art I pay attention to authenticity, talent and heart but also how their blog is built and designed. Most of you guys do an amazing job though so thank you for all that great content every day. 🙂
- What is your guilty pleasure?
It’s probably rather boring and not what you would expect but I like to just stay at home and be by myself over hanging out with people and even doing things that I usually like a lot of times. I enjoy it and use the time to write, read, play guitar or just think in silence. Something most of my friends wouldn’t understand so I am forced to say that I don’t feel good sometimes. Which is not a lie most of the time but that’s another story.
I also like spending money on clothes instead of food for a week and gaming on my PC when I should be working out. 😀
- What is your favorite TV series?
I like a lot of shows (Love, Death and Robots, Breaking Bad, Black Mirror, Game of Thrones, Vikings… ) but if I had to choose it’s gotta be Peaky Blinders. Seriously, you should watch that show. NO F*CKIN’ FIGHTING!
- Name a fictional character (from TV/books/movies) you’d want to date.
Funny question that I really haven’t thought of but after some thinking I’ll have to hard pass on everyone because there is only one person in this world I would want to date. With no dating involved I would hang out with Arya Stark though, just because she’s badass.
- What are the three problems that you’d want to solve ASAP?
If it comes down to three things, then it’s probably the lack of self-love in this this world, dishonesty that is blind to consequences and my dirt jump bike because the forks are creaking for two weeks now and I really need to service that thing …
- How do you avoid depression?
It’s simple. Writing. There is no better tool for me, as I explained in the first question.
What also helps is thinking of the purpose a certain event or thing served instead of how it hurt or devastated my life. When I think of something painful I try to figure out, if I can find something nice and beautiful in it, something that makes me smile or gives me hope. Then I reduce it to the essence of what I find and hold onto it until I feel better.
- If you have an option of trading your life with anybody on this planet would you do it? and with whom?
If I would get to keep my soul and personality, it would be with myself four years ago.
I think I would do almost everything different and keep my promise of making someone special the happiest girl in this world, this time.
- What is love for you?
Honesty. Faithfulness. Paying attention to details. Giving without expecting anything in return. Thinking of someone, even when distracted or happy. Making big sacrifices and not being bitter about it. Sticking around when nobody else does. Staying when you’re not expected to.
- What does your perfect day look like?
Getting up, showering, making fried eggs and a creamy Cappuccino, reading some blog posts and poetry, grabbing my bike gear to go out for a session with my friends, coming home and spending the rest of the night having dinner and cuddling with someone I love or just reading and writing with some hot tea before getting to bed in time so I don’t feel like utter and complete shit in the morning. 😛
- What place (on this earth) would you recommend me to visit and why?
If you like the Mediterranean Sea I would definitely recommend to see Mykonos, Greece. It’s sunny, the beaches and the town are beautiful and it’s definitely one of the prettiest places I have ever seen.
If you like art, history and architecture I would visit Florence, Italy. You will be impressed by how much such a comparably small town has to offer for fans of renaissance art or just exhibition of art in general.
Alright, that’s that.
I’d like to nominate the following blogs:
A Fragile Mind 😉
Flicker of Thoughts
The Unnecessary Blog
(There are a few others I wanted to nominate but they already got nominated by other bloggers. 😀 )
- Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
- List the rules and display an award logo on your blog post.
- Answer the 11 questions
- Nominate 11 new blogs.
- Ask the nominees 11 new questions.
♠ How are you doing today?
♠ What got you into blogging/writing?
♠ Do you have other passions besides writing?
♠ What single decision that you made in your life would you change if you could and why?
♠ Pick one author that inspires you and name their best work in your opinion.
♠ You go out on a first date. What do you wear?
♠ What is the photo with the most meaningful story you took this year and why?
♠ Where are you from and what do you love about your hometown?
♠ Would you rather live forever or possess infinite knowledge?
♠ Choose your last meal.
♠ Are there any risks you are taking at the moment? Why are they worth it?
Hey you lovely people 🙂
After listening to some music that really hit close to home, I came up with the idea for a new format that I plan to post on every Sunday starting tonight. Well, technically it’s 1 am and Monday here already but since a lot of you guys come from the US and the UK it’s still close enough I would say.
So, basically I will post one song that has a special place in my heart for any reason and tell a short story that is connected to the piece in any way. Music is definitely one of the most profound forms of art and poetry and I think there are a lot of underrated artists out there. I really hope I can introduce some of you to some music you may or may not have heard before and I would be happy if you could comment with a song that touches you the same way or I reminded you of. I saw it as a form of exchange so we’ll see how that works out. ♥
I would like to start out with a song that just hit me out of nowhere tonight. I haven’t listened to it in almost two years now but it used to be one of my favorites back when my former fiancee sent it to me in the first weeks of talking.
Without any warning, it just popped into my mind and I listened to it again for the first time in a while. I’ve been struggling with a depressed mood and just feeling anything lately but that song made everything come back at once. Before I knew it I sat there crying but honestly, I felt much better again – like a heavy weight came off my heart and I could finally see through fogged up windows again. Sometimes that’s all a heart needs to get set back when it’s wandering around, not knowing where to go.
I think the lyrics and the general atmosphere the song creates speak for themselves.
So take your headphones, close your eyes and lean back.
This is Unsteady by X Ambassadors.
We used to look up to clear skies,
a blue sea drenched in hope
and opportunities, where love rests
and sunlight guides hearts
to their safe harbors.
We followed, like children holding
onto one another, navigating
around clouds and shipwrecks
towards the brightest star
by day and by night.
The clouds which melted outside
grew from within, fogging our eyes,
numbing our voices and I
can’t see you no more so tell me
are you gone or did the fog
turn us blind?